Thinking about Divorce: Where Do I Start?

Before you talk to your family about a divorce or start interviewing attorneys about their family law practice, there are a few things you should consider before starting the divorce process.

1.     Do your research

a.      Identify anyone you know who’s gone through a divorce and speak to them in confidence about the process. Learning from those you know can be an invaluable tool in helping to understand what has and hasn’t worked for others. If you know a couple who had an amicable divorce, talk to them about what they did and why it worked. If you know someone who had a difficult divorce, talk to them about what went wrong.

b.      Read up on what your state requires to get a divorce. Here’s a useful guide for what Colorado requires for couples who don’t have children. Read as much as possible to understand what the process will include.

c.      Consider reading books about divorce including books about the emotional toll a divorce may take on you. Browse your local bookstore or library for titles on the topic and select one that speaks to your way of life.

2.     Outline your initial steps, your short term plans and your long term goals

a.      Set aside some time to think critically about how you’ll discuss this with your kids, family members, friends and coworkers, if necessary. Also consider how you and your family will work together over the course of the divorce.

b.      Next, think about the next few weeks and months to plan for some of the basics like where you may live, how you’ll pay bills, etc.

c.      Lastly, think about your long-term plans and how they may or may not need to involve your partner. Planning for the long term can be intimidating and exciting, and you don’t need to have it all planned out, but do be prepared to think about what your life after divorce may look like.

3.     Do your research to find the right family law attorney. This post may be helpful in that search.