Tips on helping kids through divorce: Part 2

As families process a divorce, it’s important to provide kids an outlet where they can discuss their feelings. All families will process a divorce differently, but it’s important for all families to focus on how to help kids heal and move on. Parents should consider sitting down together on an ongoing basis, to discuss how they’ll talk about the divorce with their kids, and help their kids get through the divorce.

Many children will experience a sense of loss as a result of divorce, and as with any loss, they may take quite a long time to process it. Many kids may ask questions again and again in an effort to understand the change, so be prepared to be patient, but emphasize that healing from this change is an ongoing process.

While parents may want to discuss the details of the divorce with their kids, it’s important to ensure no blaming or anger are present during the discussion. That doesn’t mean that parents need to force a positive emotion into the talks, because parents and kids alike have reason to feel sad, but parents need to be aware of when their anger, resentment or guilt is present and try to eliminate that when talking with kids.

Parents should also keep adult topics and arguments out of conversations with kids, which means that parents shouldn’t use kids as a go-between or messenger for a conversation they could have together, or through their attorneys or a mediator.