Taking Litigation out of Divorce

Many families facing divorce don’t realize just how long the process might take, but with overburdened courts, mandatory waiting periods and conflicting family schedules, the process can drag on for the better part of a year or longer. For those families who want to minimize the stress that a yearlong divorce process might create, there are a number of alternatives for you to explore.

Mediation and collaborative divorce are among the more popular alternatives to a traditional divorce, and both are gaining traction as cost-effective, efficient means of achieving your desired result. At the outset, these approaches require that you and your family agree on using an alternative to the traditional model. You don’t have to agree on everything, but it’s necessary that both parties understand and buy into a different process. Both of these methods have a track record of helping families find long term, mutually satisfying agreements where stress is minimized and kids come first.

If you have questions about whether your family might be able to use an alternative to litigation, ask your attorney to explain the differences between the various methods, and talk to your family about the process.

You can learn more about collaborative divorce here, and more about mediation here.

And here’s a story about how collaborative family law is helping families in other areas of the country. 

Thinking about Divorce: Where Do I Start?

Before you talk to your family about a divorce or start interviewing attorneys about their family law practice, there are a few things you should consider before starting the divorce process.

1.     Do your research

a.      Identify anyone you know who’s gone through a divorce and speak to them in confidence about the process. Learning from those you know can be an invaluable tool in helping to understand what has and hasn’t worked for others. If you know a couple who had an amicable divorce, talk to them about what they did and why it worked. If you know someone who had a difficult divorce, talk to them about what went wrong.

b.      Read up on what your state requires to get a divorce. Here’s a useful guide for what Colorado requires for couples who don’t have children. Read as much as possible to understand what the process will include.

c.      Consider reading books about divorce including books about the emotional toll a divorce may take on you. Browse your local bookstore or library for titles on the topic and select one that speaks to your way of life.

2.     Outline your initial steps, your short term plans and your long term goals

a.      Set aside some time to think critically about how you’ll discuss this with your kids, family members, friends and coworkers, if necessary. Also consider how you and your family will work together over the course of the divorce.

b.      Next, think about the next few weeks and months to plan for some of the basics like where you may live, how you’ll pay bills, etc.

c.      Lastly, think about your long-term plans and how they may or may not need to involve your partner. Planning for the long term can be intimidating and exciting, and you don’t need to have it all planned out, but do be prepared to think about what your life after divorce may look like.

3.     Do your research to find the right family law attorney. This post may be helpful in that search.

Unbundled Services

Going through a divorce can be an expensive process, and for those couples who don’t own shared property and don’t have children, using divorce attorneys can be unnecessary. There has been a recent trend among family law attorneys to offer their services in a limited capacity, which means that attorneys can play a role at a critical step in the process to ensure everything is in order.

Unbundled services — aka hiring an attorney in a limited capacity — are possible for many types of cases. In family law, it means that you may hire an attorney to help you with just one aspect of your divorce, for example, if you’ve filled out all of the paperwork to get a divorce that is available online from the state, you may pay an attorney a small fee to look over your documentation. Some couples who share limited property or have shared investments, may each hire an attorney to simply look over their agreed upon terms of divorce. If you’re interested in limited representation, ask your attorney what they may provide. Just remember, that if you and your ex-spouse get to a point where you’d like an attorney, you should hire separate attorneys to ensure someone is looking out for just your best interest.