In light of current divorce rates, thousands of kids
experience the stress of family separations or divorces each month, and parents should be
aware that family conflict and separation may affect children in a range of
ways. While parents can't prevent kids from feeling sad or being confused, depending on the children’s age, their personalities, and the
circumstances of the divorce they can minimize its effects.
The most important thing that parents can do to help their
kids process the changing family dynamics is minimize the disruption to daily routines. Kids thrive when they have a regular, predictable
schedule, so parents may need to be flexible in order to ensure the children’s
routines are maintained. This may require both parents to be flexible and willing to make sacrifices in order to put the kids first.
It’s also important for both parents to remain
involved in the kids’ lives, whether that means periodic phone conversations
with a parent who isn’t living at home, or regular visits to ensure kids see
both parents.
In addition, parents should ensure that they avoid conflict,
legal talk and heated discussions in the presence of kids. They should also
avoid talking negatively about one another in front of the kids.
Lastly, parents who need to discuss their divorce with
someone should not do so with their kids; they need to rely on mature,
appropriate audiences like trained therapists, older family members, or
friends.
