One of the most difficult parts of a divorce for some
families is when parents must break the news to their children. In order to
protect kids, regardless of their ages, parents who are contemplating a divorce
should follow a few key steps when it comes time to tell their kids.
First, if possible, both parents should be present
— though it will be important to minimize conflict and anger during this
discussion. If those emotions will come
out if both parents are there, it might be better for one parent to deliver the
news.
Next, it's important to try to leave feelings of anger,
guilt, or blame out of the discussion. Instead, it is important to emphasize
that while the parents need to live separately, the bond that the parents and
kids have won’t change. Emphasize that parental love doesn’t change, and while
parents may have a disagreement and need to live apart, parents and kids don't
stop loving each other or get divorced from each other.
Be as honest as possible with your kids, but only give them
the information they need. Don’t get lost in the details of why the divorce is
happening; focus instead on what will or won’t change in their daily routines.
Lastly, parents should practice their delivery of the news
so that emotion and anger don’t pop up during the discussion. If both parents
are present, they should work to be calm, cool, collected, and loving parents
who are focused on their kids.
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