How divorce may impact your credit scores

Many divorcing couples have co-mingled their financial and credit accounts, which can impact your credit score after the divorce. If you are considering a divorce, you should take a full inventory of all of your joint accounts including any real estate holdings, credit cards, or bank accounts, so that you can work with your attorney to sort through them, and figure out who may have responsibility for them and other bills after a divorce.

You may also want to consider removing one spouse’s name from a joint credit card, or closing joint credit card accounts altogether.  However, you should consult with an attorney before taking this step.

If your divorce decree specifies who is responsible for accounts that were opened during the marriage, you should still be aware of what those accounts are so that you can also notify the lenders or financial institutions of your divorce.

“If the spouse responsible under the divorce decree is unable or unwilling to pay and the contract has not been changed by the lender, the late payments still will appear on both credit reports and will have a negative impact on credit scores for both individuals,” according to an Experian expert response.

To read more about what you can do to protect your credit, read this.

The impact of divorce on kids: Part 3

While the process of divorce can place an immense amount of stress on a family, it can place a substantial burden on kids. More than one recent study has revealed that many kids who have gone through a divorce may have an increased risk of excessive weight gain. One study found that boys are particularly prone to gain excess weight, and researchers suggest that a range of factors are playing a role.

From less supervision at home to family stress, experts say there are many possible reasons why kids in divorced families may pack on weight. The best thing any family can do to avoid excessive weight gain is to minimize the stress on the kids.

Both parents should consider the ways they can achieve this goal, but many parents turn to a range of support networks to help them in the transition. Friends, family, church and religious groups can all provide a network of people for parents and kids to talk to during the divorce process. Additionally, groups like Parents with Partners and others can help families understand the change, and see others who have developed new, successful family models.

Whenever possible, kids should be encouraged to have as positive an outlook on both parents as they can.  Ensuring they have a regular routine that includes periodic contact with both parents can help.

Parents also need to remember to take care of themselves. Find your own way to reduce stress in your life by finding supportive friends and asking for help when you need it.

Tips on helping kids through divorce: Part 2

As families process a divorce, it’s important to provide kids an outlet where they can discuss their feelings. All families will process a divorce differently, but it’s important for all families to focus on how to help kids heal and move on. Parents should consider sitting down together on an ongoing basis, to discuss how they’ll talk about the divorce with their kids, and help their kids get through the divorce.

Many children will experience a sense of loss as a result of divorce, and as with any loss, they may take quite a long time to process it. Many kids may ask questions again and again in an effort to understand the change, so be prepared to be patient, but emphasize that healing from this change is an ongoing process.

While parents may want to discuss the details of the divorce with their kids, it’s important to ensure no blaming or anger are present during the discussion. That doesn’t mean that parents need to force a positive emotion into the talks, because parents and kids alike have reason to feel sad, but parents need to be aware of when their anger, resentment or guilt is present and try to eliminate that when talking with kids.

Parents should also keep adult topics and arguments out of conversations with kids, which means that parents shouldn’t use kids as a go-between or messenger for a conversation they could have together, or through their attorneys or a mediator.

Tips on discussing divorce with kids

One of the most difficult parts of a divorce for some families is when parents must break the news to their children. In order to protect kids, regardless of their ages, parents who are contemplating a divorce should follow a few key steps when it comes time to tell their kids.

First, if possible, both parents should be present — though it will be important to minimize conflict and anger during this discussion.  If those emotions will come out if both parents are there, it might be better for one parent to deliver the news.

Next, it's important to try to leave feelings of anger, guilt, or blame out of the discussion. Instead, it is important to emphasize that while the parents need to live separately, the bond that the parents and kids have won’t change. Emphasize that parental love doesn’t change, and while parents may have a disagreement and need to live apart, parents and kids don't stop loving each other or get divorced from each other.

Be as honest as possible with your kids, but only give them the information they need. Don’t get lost in the details of why the divorce is happening; focus instead on what will or won’t change in their daily routines.

Lastly, parents should practice their delivery of the news so that emotion and anger don’t pop up during the discussion. If both parents are present, they should work to be calm, cool, collected, and loving parents who are focused on their kids.

Tips on helping kids through divorce: Part 1

In light of current divorce rates, thousands of kids experience the stress of family separations or divorces each month, and parents should be aware that family conflict and separation may affect children in a range of ways. While parents can't prevent kids from feeling sad or being confused, depending on the children’s age, their personalities, and the circumstances of the divorce they can minimize its effects.

The most important thing that parents can do to help their kids process the changing family dynamics is minimize the disruption to daily routines. Kids thrive when they have a regular, predictable schedule, so parents may need to be flexible in order to ensure the children’s routines are maintained. This may require both parents to be flexible and willing to make sacrifices in order to put the kids first.

It’s also important for both parents to remain involved in the kids’ lives, whether that means periodic phone conversations with a parent who isn’t living at home, or regular visits to ensure kids see both parents.

In addition, parents should ensure that they avoid conflict, legal talk and heated discussions in the presence of kids. They should also avoid talking negatively about one another in front of the kids.

Lastly, parents who need to discuss their divorce with someone should not do so with their kids; they need to rely on mature, appropriate audiences like trained therapists, older family members, or friends.

How should I handle my finances post divorce?

It’s not uncommon for divorcing couples to have reached a final decree that makes the divorce official, but to still have assets that are not fully divided. If you or your spouse have a work-sponsored 401(k), ownership of company stock, or shared real estate or investment property, there are a handful of steps you’ll have to go through in order to ensure the assets become fully divided.

An attorney can help you first secure a qualified domestic relations order, which can help you divide the 401(k). If your spouse is the holder of the 401(k), you can then roll that money into an IRA, where it can maintain its tax-deferred status.

Likewise, the order can help you sell or divest your interest in your ex-spouse’s stock with his employer, and may help you secure any interest in equity you might have in shared real estate or banking accounts.

Beware that in addition to any potential maintenance or child support payments you may be receiving, that you should plan to budget your finances to ensure you have enough for emergencies and to ensure you are planning for the future. An attorney may help you in this endeavor, or he or she may be able to provide you with a reference for a financial planner.

In addition, there are a variety of helpful websites and articles on this topic that may provide examples of how you might plan best for your life post-divorce.