How to make your split as smooth as possible (with kids)

While research suggests that kids can adjust to a change in family dynamics within two years of a divorce, they may have a very difficult time getting through that time period. And some of them may show symptoms of the stress. Recent research suggests that divorce can impact children’s weight. If you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse have kids together, there are a few steps you can take to minimize the stress of a divorce.

1.     Develop a plan together for talking to your kids and explaining what will (and won’t) change through the divorce. Try to emphasize that your love for them won’t change, and let them ask questions. Be clear but avoid negative talk.

2.     Try to make change gradual when possible. Children do best when they have time to adjust to a change, so if possible, avoid moving kids to a new home right away. Also consider minimizing other changes after the divorce (i.e, maintaining their schedules, keeping them in the same schools, etc.)

3.     Keep lines of communication open with both parents. Research suggests that kids who have a poor relationship with one or both parents may have a harder time dealing with family upheaval.

4.     Avoid conflict around the kids. Keep your conversations with your soon-to-be-ex between the two of you.